Samantha’s Unmedicated Birth

by Samantha Eileen

I was due August 4th, 2012. It only seemed natural, considering who her parents are, that she was going to be late. One week exactly. I didn’t stress about it.

“She’ll come when she’s ready.”
That’s all you’d hear me say.

Don’t get me wrong, I was uncomfortable- my feet were killing me, I couldn’t sleep, and I peed my pants when I sneezed (just once, thankfully).

Six days past my due day we (my doc and myself) decided to help move things along. She did a more natural type induction by stripping (or sweeping) the membranes. The next morning at 8 am my (now) husband and I are checking into the hospital and talking to a midwife (midwives are amazing. I highly recommend one). My goal was to go without any sort of pain management. Of course, I accepted a long time ago that things happen and interventions are sometimes necessary. I was incredibly lucky and didn’t need any.

Things went better than I could’ve imagined. They did have to break my water, which, by the way, is a really gross feeling. Everytime you move you feel like your peeing a river and just sitting in a puddle of warm. Things really started moving once that happened. I ended up puking on my husband’s shoes at one point (sorry babe).

Contractions, contractions, contractions. Holy shit, it is intense! I do recall saying at one point- “I don’t think I can do this”, to which my mom replied “YES, YOU CAN!” (heh as if I had a choice anymore). They had me move in all sorts of positions to try and “alleviate” some of the pain. Right.

Well, ready or not, this baby is coming. Push. Breathe. Push. Breathe. Push. Push. Push!
“I feel like my a$#&*e is going to blow out.”

At the time I didn’t get why everyone was laughing. I’m just letting you know how I feel.  Fortunately, my asshole didn’t turn inside out AND I didn’t shit on the table.  So far, so good.

Once my baby’s head emerged my midwife told me to relax for a minute (HA!) so she could check that the umbilical cord wasn’t wrapped around her neck. She has about .03 seconds before my body decided to push that little babe out for good.

Holy effin relief! 6 hours after checking into the hospital, my doc plopped this tiny thing into my lap.  It was over.

Well, that chapter was, at least. Couple of stitches and I was set. Now, I had this perfect little human to care for and keep alive (successful, so far ;)).

My first thought once it was over? Food. I was STARVING. Contrary to what some may believe, ice chips are less than fulfilling. I literally ordered half the hospital menu once they gave me the go-ahead to eat.
Giving birth was the most intense and exciting experience of my life. If I had to do it again I wouldn’t change a thing. I will admit I felt a bit smug about achieving what some consider ‘the impossible’ of a natural, drug free birth.  After having a majority of (mostly) women doubt you or tell you you’re crazy for even considering a natural birth, it’s a pretty amazing feeling to walk away a success story. Although, that doesn’t mean I want more kids anytime soon. Being a parent is f*&%ing hard. But, that’s a story for a different day.

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