When to announce your pregnancy can be a challenging decision. Some women are so happy and excited they want to shout it from the rooftops the moment they know. Others may be in shock or worried and prefer to keep it private for awhile.
There seems to be a tradition in our society that you shouldn’t announce before the end of the first trimester openingly. Some people believe it’s unlucky, but the prevalent thought seems to be that if the pregnancy doesn’t continue you may have to go through the discomfort of telling people.
Some people even feel like it would be ‘wrong’ to tell earlier. Since it has become such a tradition sometimes women feel compelled to stick with it, or even receive some negativity for sharing so early. I think this should be a personal choice. I understand why some people may prefer to wait, but I don’t think this is a reason women should feel they MUST wait. If you want to share, if you want to have the support and excitement go ahead. Don’t feel that you shouldn’t just because others don’t.
Also, determine who you may want to know or NEED to know if that sad scenario were to happen. What kind of support would you want or need? If there are people you would need or want to talk to either way- then why wait? Share the good news.
Another reason people often wait is to avoid issues with work or school. If you are worried that your boss will be unsupportive, or are afraid that your coworkers will think you are slacking you may desire to wait longer.
Remember though that pregnancy symptoms start fairly quickly. You may need a boss and/or coworker to know sooner than you may think. Frequent bathroom trips for peeing or throwing up can start right away. Fatigue slows you down. You may need to reduce the weight you lift for safety. Time off for caregiver appointments. All of these can be quite noticeable regardless, so it may be in your interest to have it known so that you can receive at least minimal consideration. Don’t forget, it is illegal to discriminate against a worker for pregnancy.
For many mom’s the first trimester can be really tough. Between the fatigue and nausea it can be hard to care for your household, your older children, and/or your job in the manner you are used to.
By telling supportive friends and relatives you can often receive help and encouragement in this difficult time. Perhaps a friend can take an older child to the park while you nap. Perhaps your mom can bring dinner, so you don’t have to make it when the sight of the ingredients sends you running to the toilet. Just having people know and understand why you’re slowing down can be a comfort. Also, the sooner you tell the sooner you can get the help!
If you are a private person who doesn’t like a lot of fuss then choosing to hold off or limit announcing will probably make you more comfortable. Some people who are having their 4th or more like to wait since they often get a lot of comments for having more than the average amount of kids. Perhaps the timing or situation isn’t ideal, so you’d rather wait a bit. Sometimes mom and/or dad need longer to process the pregnancy themselves before sharing.
Whether you decide to keep it as a delicious secret, or if you decide to tell every person you run into on the street, truly there is no right or wrong when deciding when and who to tell. Just make sure the decision is right for you, and, if applicable, your partner. Don’t feel beholden to traditions or expectations. Do what feels right and makes you happy!